To the person who called me a fat ugly cow, I have something to say to you. You’re right, I am “fat” but I’m not ugly. YOU are ugly, because your actions make you so. You’re mean.
I’ve been big my entire life. Being called fat is a normal thing for me to hear. But what sucks, is that people have to point it out and use my own body against me as an insult. I have medical issues that cause me to take medication on a daily basis that make me gain weight and makes it hard to lose it. When you say “just lose weight” or “eat a salad”, trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve tried multiple things, and it’s still extremely hard for me to lose weight. Hearing those words that you utter with disdain, for one second, left me feeling completely worthless. I’ve been told that losing weight was the only way I’d be an acceptable part of society. But guess what? I grew tired of being a shadow who needs to live on the fringe hoping to be deemed “enough”- thin enough, pretty enough, special enough to be worthy. Just because someone is overweight doesn’t mean they are unworthy. I have learned to love myself for ME. I refuse to let anyone change the way I feel about myself. I’m not trying to glamorize being overweight or obesity. Trust me, it sucks. But there’s a lot more to it than just body size. My body doesn’t make me beautiful any more than it makes me ugly. It’s just a body. It’s not enough to make you hate me, or like me. I am enough.
When people throw the word “fat” at me, as an insult, I often wonder what the point is they are trying to prove to me or even themselves. I may not be attractive to you and that’s 100% okay. My purpose on earth is not to be attractive to you. Everyone has their own opinions and types and that’s fine, as long as you don’t put someone down for not being your ideal of beautiful. I’ve had guys say to me,
“You have such a pretty face and you’re an amazing person, I’d even date you if you were skinnier.”
“If you were skinnier.”
I’m a great person with a beautiful face and an amazing personality but I’m only worth dating if I were a smaller size. It just shows how shallow some people are that the size of the person means more than the person inside. Here’s a tip: I’m not going to change myself, just to make myself “acceptable”. I let other peoples opinion about my body torment me for years. No one should change to make anyone else happy other than YOURSELF. A while ago I noticed that so many people shared that they felt the same way I did. I reminded them that each and every one of us have special gift and are awesome in our own way. I’m sharing this again for everyone who has felt “NOT ENOUGH” , and as a reminder to myself.
Decide for yourself that you are ENOUGH- Enough to be happy, enough to be worthy, enough to be whatever and do whatever you want to be.
YOU are ENOUGH.