Top 5 Places for Plus Size Teen Clothes

Finding cute clothes that make you feel good about yourself can be hard.  When you’re a plus sized teenager, it’s almost impossible!  I live in a small town in Connecticut, and every time I go shopping is a hassle. The stores in my town, such as Kohl’s or TJ Maxx offer very little variety. The sections that used to home plus sized clothing have now shrunk to 1 or maybe 2 racks.  Even our local mall offers few selections for younger plus sixes people. Thank GOD for online shopping!    Part of feeling good about yourself is looking they way you want to look.  Finding young, hip, confident and trendy plus sized clothing should be easier. I’m not going to sugar coat it – a lot of the clothes I find are, most of the time, ugly.  A majority of plus size clothing is boxy, shapeless, dull, or looks like it is made for elderly women. Here is a hint to the fashion world:

Just because I’m larger than a size 12 doesn’t mean I don’t like stylish clothes.

I’ve resorted to often making my own clothing using things I find in thrift stores and DIY ideas (thank you Tumblr!).  Thankfully, I have found a couple places that have really cute, up to trend, clothing in plus sizes for things I don’t make.   Here’s a few:

Forever 21 Plus

Almost every teenage girl has heard of Forever 21, and has seen their clothing. Personally, I love Forever 21 Plus. The clothing is affordable, the clothes are well made, and the designs are trendy. There are many different varieties of styles you can choose from as well. I own multiple pieces from the store and love all of it. Forever 21 Plus clothing has a flattering fit and is similar to the other clothing in the store, so you don’t feel excluded from the cute pieces in the other sections. They offer sizes 1xl-3xl in shirts/dresses, and 12-20 pants.

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I have loved every piece of clothing I have gotten from this store. I have both shopped in the actual store and ordered online and I enjoyed both experiences. The clothes in the shops are very cute, and are extremely affordable.  The sales are great, too! They offer sizes 1-3x in dresses/shirts, and 14-24 pants. They also have a nice selection of lingerie, and sizes range from 36C-44DD

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Love Culture

Love Culture Plus size clothing is very up to date with trends, and is really well made. I have never been disappointed when getting an item from this store. The clothing I have gotten from there are great staple pieces in my wardrobe. They offer sizes 1xl-3xl in shirts/dresses, and 1xl-3xl in pants.

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Torrid

Torrid clothing is very well made and dependable. Torrid is probably one of my favorite plus size stores. The styles are diverse and there is a wide variety of styles to pick from. There is so much to pick from, no matter what your preference.  I have multiple pairs of bottoms from there and I adore the fit and feel of them. They have an wide range of sizes, from 12-28.

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Wet Seal

Wet Seal’s plus size section is very similar to their other sections. The clothing is affordable and is extremely comfortable to wear. Every time I’ve purchased something from the section, it becomes a big part of my wardrobe. They carry sizes xl-3x in shirts/dresses and 18-24 in bottoms.

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I’m really proud that at least a FEW companies recognize that  plus sized teens also want to wear stylish clothing and feel good about themselves.   I want to scream to the fashion world:  Pay attention!

I am part of a HUGE demographic. We’re young, we’re hip, we’re confident, and  want to be stylish. We also have money to spend on clothing. Why are you leaving us out?

Is there a favorite store of yours that offers plus sized clothing  for younger people?  And when is plus-sized fashion week again?


5 Reasons to Love 5 Seconds of Summer

The Australian pop-punk band, 5 Seconds of Summer, have taken the world by storm. However, they’ve already won over my heart. I have been a fan for a long time, but their global successful has my fan-girl heart swelling.

The boys have been toured with One Direction last year, and are joining them again this year during part of the Where We Are tour. I saw them at their headline show in Wallingford, Connecticut, and fell even deeper for the band. There are so many reasons to love this band.

1. Their Music     One reason to love 5SOS is their music!(Duh). The songs they sing, such as She Looks So Perfect, Don’t Stop, Good Girls, etc., automatically put you in a good mood when you listen to them. You want to dance around and sing the lyrics at the top of your lungs. ( I know I do when there isn’t anyone home.) They have a punk/rock vibe to most of their songs. Everyone in the band is amazingly talented with vocals, and the instruments they play. Other songs they have preformed, such as Wherever You Are, Beside You, and Amnesia are heartfelt, and can cause tears. They’re incredibly talented.

2. Their Performances     If you’ve ever seen a 5SOS live performance, you’ll know that the entire place is electric. When I saw them, the entire theatre was buzzing with excitement. The boys have so much energy on stage, it’s incredible. Their energy filled the entire building. The whole band seems to be in their element when on stage. They cover every inch of the stage, jumping around, sharing their excitement. They’re passionate performers, losing themselves in their music.

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 3.  The Members      Each member adds another reason to love 5 Seconds of Summer. The band has an amazing dynamic

Ashton Irwin, 19, is the drummer with dimples.

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Michael Clifford, 18, is a guitarist with the hair of many colors.

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Calum Hood, 18, is the bassist with a smile that could melt your heart.

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and Luke Hemmings, 17, is a guitarist with amazing blue eyes, and the lip piercing.

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While being attractive, that’s not all that draws people to this band. Each of their personalities makes the band lovable. Ashton is a bit dorky, but in a cute way, with his different types of laughs. Michael is sarcastic and a bit sassy, and has a bit of attitude, but overall is such a sweet person. Calum is easygoing and fun, and seems like an absolute sweetheart. Luke is a bit quiet, but his slight awkwardness is endearing. All of the boys are hilarious. Every interview and performance you see of them is sure to make you laugh.

4. They’re Themselves      5 Seconds of Summer don’t seem to try to fit the mold, and they embrace their quirks. They seem like the type of guys you want to be friends with. They look like they have a lot of fun together, and seem to be best friends. They have a very chill aura around them. The boys don’t try to hide who they are.  It seems as if you know them, just by watching videos and reading their daily tweets. It’s easy to feel connected to them, even if you’ve never met them.

5. Support     One of the best things about 5 Seconds of Summer, is that the band is extremely supportive of their fans, and vise-versa. The band often voices about how much they love their fans and how much they appreciate their support. In fact, they call their fandom a family, the 5SOS Fam. They tweet their fans, and remind them that they’re loved, and that they’re beautiful. They remind them that someone out there does care about them.  The 5SOS Fam is incredibly supportive of each other, and help each other get through tough things together. It’s amazing to hear stories of how music has saved lives, and this band is definitely a contributor to that.

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Have you heard 5SOS’s songs?   Do you have a favorite band member?


That Time I Didn’t Meet Demi Lovato

Last week,  Demi Lovato played a concert in New York City. as part of the Summer Concert Series for Good Morning America.  I really, REALLY wanted to interview her for my blog. I wrote to everyone a lot of people at GMA asking them to help me  get just a few minutes with her so I could  tell her my story and tell her how inspiring she is and how she helped save my life.  In the darkest moments, when I wanted to die, sometimes singing her songs were what kept me going for just one more night.   I thought that if I met her, it would be amazing and I’d be able to share with her my plans on stopping bullying.

How if everyone would just #BeBrave, bullying would end.

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I didn’t get to meet Demi. I never got to share with her how she helped me Stay Strong or tell her my story.  I was disappointed, but then something amazing happened.   I made hundreds of new friends camped out in Central Park waiting for a chance to hear Demi perform.  I got there about  1:30 am, and was about 200th in line.  Standing in that line,  I started talking to people, and we started sharing stories.

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The stories they shared are not mine to tell, but what I can tell you is  that we all had something in common.  We all were, at some point, lost, and needing to find strength and hope.  We shared a certain kind of frailness, yet extreme strength, that comes with  being broken and then put back together.  We were not only together to hear our hero Demi sing, but also to celebrate: We WERE strong and we made it through! We were ALL Warriors.

We are our own heroes.

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I thought that meeting Demi is what was important. I was wrong.  The people I met were the most important.  The stories we shared were important. What I found was even more important: community.  I think I got a lot more out sitting on a sidewalk in Central Park, huddled together with new friends, avoiding the stinky port-a-john, laughing and singing, sharing strength and hope and bravery.  So, Amanda, Paige, Roberta, Nicole, Jenn, Sam, Alana, and everyone else who sat in line to see our hero,  what we really did is reinforce:

WE ARE OUR OWN STRENGTH AND BRAVERY.

We can all, together and separately, share what we have with others who need it. The simplest way is to #BeBrave and stand up for ourselves and others, and for what we know: Bullying is wrong, depression is real, self-harm happens, but hope is there and we can ALL make it through.     IT GETS BETTER.

By the way, the concert was amazing and I was happy to see Demi (and was surprised by Cher Lloyd and Nicki Minaj ) but I left inspired and motivated by the people  I sat up all night with, waiting in line and sharing hope, strength and love.

Who inspires YOU?

Remember: #BeBrave: Stand up FOR the bullied, TO the bullies, and FOR yourself. If we ALL are brave, bullying will end.


Rules are Rules

Canadian 11th grader  Lindsey Stocker was in trouble. She wore shorts to school, and was told they were not appropriate. She was  asked to go home and change, or face suspension. She refused, and printed up posters instead. Her posters read:

Don’t humiliate her because she’s wearing shorts. It’s hot outside. Instead of shaming girls for their bodies, teach boys that girls are not sexual objects.

She right, guys need to know that girls bodies are NOT sexual objects, and they need to be able to control themselves.  It’s not, or shouldn’t be a girls job to dress so that a man will be able to ‘control themselves” upon seeing them. Men should have control of themselves, in all ways, period. As should woman.

But this isn’t about “shaming women.”  It’s about a high-school Junior who violated her school’s dress code simply because she didn’t want to follow the rules. The schools dress code, according to the Beaconsfield High School website says:

Students must dress appropriately for school. Ripped or torn clothing, short shorts or skirts, T-shirts with unacceptable language or promoting violence, drugs or sexual innuendo, halter tops/tube tops/bikini tops, visible underwear, low riding pants, excessive cleavage, outdoor clothing and attire exposing the midriff are all forbidden in school.

She was asked to change to comply with the rule, and she blatantly defied the administrators.  The rule never said she couldn’t wear shorts, but that she couldn’t wear “short-shorts”. I don’t see anywhere there that it states that these rules apply simply to women.  These rules apply to men, as well.   We have dress code rules at my school that are pretty much the same as her schools, except we have no tank top rule, and the shorts rule.  The shorts rule is that your shorts must at least be as long as your fingertips on your legs with your arms hanging down by your sides, for both girls and boys. I personally don’t find this sexist, or shaming, or anything other than a rule to be followed.

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The outfits my friends and I are wearing for a party are perfectly appropriate – for a party. However, they wouldn’t be ok for school. Our schools rules are no shorts that violate the ‘shorts” rule, no tanks and no spaghetti straps. I’m fine with that.  I’m not being humiliated or harassed.  I’m just observing the rules.

High School is the training ground for adult life.  A real life with responsibilities that won’t won’t always consider your tender feelings when rules are made. Many jobs have dress codes, and even uniforms and if you don’t  comply, you lose your job.  Let’s face it, High School is also a place where you stretch your wings, and try to find your place.  Being asked to follow rules is not grounding you, its providing you with the guidelines for a successful flight.

It’s not shaming, or bullying, or harassment if you are asked and expected to follow rules. In this case, the school is asking all students to dress with respect and  in a manner in which the school would like to portray itself.  High school is not just a place where you learn how to be yourself, it’s a place where you learn to fit in society and like it or not, society has rules. Being asked to follow rules isn’t harassment. It’s life.


Demi Lovato Helped Me Stay Strong and Be Brave

“You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper”

Those lyrics are some of the only things that kept me alive in 8th grade. On the nights I’d feel the closest to leaving, I would listen to Demi’s songs and sing them to myself, and I’d feel stronger, even if I thought if it was only for one more night.

Demi Lovato has been one of my main role models. Demi went through some similar things as I did, and I relate to her a lot. Her music and her philosophy have helped me become who I am today. Demi’s motto is “Stay Strong”, and that’s all I could do when I was going through a rough time. I repeated her lyrics in my head every day when I felt close to breaking down, and constantly reminded myself that she got through it, and I can too.

Demi is probably one of the most realistic celebrities out there. She inspired me back then, and continues to inspire me now. Demi shared her story to the world and I respect her so much for that. She knew that she wasn’t “fixed” either. You can’t just wake up one day fixed. You don’t just go to the doctor or therapist and *BOOM* become all better. Getting better takes time and work. You don’t see results in just one day. However, if you try, you WILL.  She acknowledges that she isn’t perfect and even better, that she doesn’t have to be.  She keeps a positive mindset and helps other people while she helps herself.  I have so much respect for her, not only for her music, but the way she chooses to live her life.  She enforces that we are all NOT PERFECT BEINGS, and we all make mistakes and mess up and it’s ok, we just need to pick ourselves up and carry on.

Something happened to me as a struggled to Stay Strong.  I decided that I wasn’t going to let anyone make me feel that badly about myself again. I also wanted to help others. I came up with a surefire way that will help end bullying. So in addition to being strong, I learned to be #BeBrave

To get through bullying, you have to Stay Strong.  To END bullying,  you have to #BeBrave.  Being Brave is standing up FOR the bullied, TO the bullies, and FOR YOURSELF. Do this, and bullying will end. For yourself, and others.

She inspired and lent me the strength to become a Warrior.  Now, I am strong.  Now, I am brave.

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Demi is coming to my area next week for a concert in Central Park. I wish more than anything I could meet her and ask her 2 questions that I’d  answer here:

What happened to make you decided, enough!  I am worth more than this pain they are putting me through, and  How do you find self love and self worth when others try to make you feel like you’re nothing?

If you could meet Demi Lovato , do you have a question you’d like to ask her?  Leave a comment with the question you’d ask.

Please remember to Stay Strong and #BeBrave!


Maybe

There was a time that I wanted to die.

I wore long sleeved sweaters to hide the scars of the cuts I made that I thought would help the pain.  (They didn’t) There was a time where I couldn’t see anything that made life worth living. I had given up.  I was ready…..to just end it all.  As I was preparing  to leave the world of pain I was living in, my Mom found me and told me, “Maybe- maybe there is ONE THING you can find to hold onto. Maybe…if you find ONE THING  that means something,  you can find a way back.  I will help you. Just one thing.”  My Mom gave me her strength, and helped me learn how to do it myself.

From that moment, I found one thing everyday, sometimes every hour,  to hold tight until there were good days more than bad days.  I’m ok now.  In fact, I’m great. I held on until the sun came out again, and I’m glad.

This is my anthem to everyone who feels like there is nothing left worth fighting for.  Because there IS.  Life is worth fighting for.

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There IS a way out of depression.  The bullies  will go away and life will get better. There is NO maybe about it. It really does get better. All you have to do is #BeBrave and hold on. One thing- on day- one minute at a time.

Maybe

I’ll pick up my own pieces
Put my life back together
Fading scars and healing cuts
Make my world hurt not as much
Greener trees and bluer skies
We can finally escape the lies
That had us cornered
By our own thoughts
We’re no longer caught

Maybe I can finally get better
Maybe I won’t have to hide behind these sweaters
The weights off my chest
I can finally breathe
I can finally rest
Maybe I won’t have to run
Maybe I can feel the sun on my skin
Maybe for once
I can finally win

I’ll climb out of my bed
Shake the thoughts out of my head
No one else could save me then
So I saved myself instead
Dry the tears
And wipe my eyes
Silence all the cries
That had me haunted
Trapped inside
But now I won’t have to hide

CHORUS

I won’t cry anymore
I can see life as more than a chore
I can feel my heart
Without my mind getting sore
You can push but I won’t fall
You can’t make me feel small
For so long I was down
But now I’ll stand tall

CHORUS

Maybe…..

by Ally Del Monte ©2104

all rights reserved.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  Thank you. I love you.

 

 

 


Nowhere Safe- Cyber-Bullying Gone Crazy

We all know that cyber bullying is rampant. I’m pretty sure that most of us have been bullied, or know someone who has been bullied. There comes a point, though, when a victim of cyber bullying  can ask for help, and get it to stop. You follow the proper channels,  keep records, and it should end.  But what if it goes beyond just cyber bullying?

What if they hack into your channels, or your wifi?  What if they figure out how to access your devices remotely? What if they were able to listen to your  private conversations and  they knew everything your said? What if you received death threats?  What if they stalk your house, your car, your family?   What if you went to the school, the police, and even the FBI for help? 

What if NO ONE HELPED YOU?

Melody and Julia are two 12 year olds who live in Leander, Texas.  Melody and Julia  have been bullied, harassed, threatened, stalked and have received death threats.  All of it is documented, but nothing has been done to stop it.

They both used to be friends with a  girl names J.  As happens, as it  happened to me,  they had a fight, and then the other girl started talking about them on Instagram and bullying them. The girls mothers, Marti and Christine, spoke with J.’s parents  who denied that their daughter was doing anything- they said she was being hacked.  So the Moms complained to the school, where nothing really was done, and then decided to file a police report.  Even as the police were at her house, taking a report, they were being harassed. ( All the details are on Christines’ Blog) Their parents have reached out to both local and federal  authorities and hired a attorney, yet, the cyberbullying continues.  After receiving message such as this on Instagram:

“…If you don’t kill yourselves, I will. You can go ahead and tell Julia that I am on her account, and I’m going to pretend to be her. I’m going to make everyone hate her.”

Both families deleted all social media accounts, wiped their devices, and carried on, thinking that would end it.  It didn’t. In fact it got worse. Another Instagram account was made  and began sending messages that only could have been heard from inside the girls house – taunts about crying in fear, and being scared to go to school. Then it progressed, horribly, to death threats.

“You are pathetic and I hate you. Just reply all ready. You are a sick
retarded person and I hate you. What else to say? I FU**ING HATE YOU. And
one day soon I will kill you. I will, if it’s the last day I do.”

You would think that a death threat would be enough to stop this, right?  Wrong. It escalated to more harassment, stalking, and death threats.  This is from YESTERDAY.

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WHY??  Why isn’t this being taken care of?  I know if these types of threats were being made toward someone at a school, it would be taken  more seriously.  Does someone have to be hurt, or even worse, DIE for it to be taken seriously?   You see, even though they “know” who is behind it, the police say it can’t be “proven”.  The only way is can be proven at this point is with information  provided by Social Media companies who can provide IP addresses. Instagram, who was served with a subpoena doesn’t want to give up the information, because it will “cost too much”. to research.  Will it cost less when someone is dead? 

Cyber bullying doesn’t often go to this extreme. But bullying in any form needs to be taken seriously.  There is so much lip service being given to “anti bullying laws” but oftentimes when it comes down to it,  nothing is being done.  I can’t imagine not being helped when receiving death threats and being harassed, stalked and threatened.  There are some things that you should do if you are  cyber bulled, to help:

  1. Ignore: Do not react or respond. It’s hard, I know but  many times,  just not responding will stop the  attention they are seeking.
  2. Cut Off- Block the bully. You can block them from your phone, your social media accounts,  your computers.  Screen calls from unidentified numbers.
  3. Report Online. Most Social Media sites have TOS (Terms of Service) that you can report bulling behaviors to.  Sometimes service providers can look up IP address and  disclose “anonymous” bullies.
  4. Get Help.  Most states have laws or schools have policies that should help protect you against bullying.  If they can’t, or won’t help you, keep moving up the chain. Even the FBI has an Internet Crime division.
  5. Record:  Keep screen shots, printouts, texts, anything they used to bully you. It’s best to print it out. Also, if they are calling your and bullying you, keep a phone diary of what calls you received.

Cyberbullying is just as hurtful as physical bullying.  And it’s just as much of a crime. We need to prove to the bullies who hide behind screen names that they, too, will be held accountable.

And Melody and Julia?   Stay Strong, and #BeBrave!  It WILL get better.  She WILL be stopped. Have faith.

 

Some more links to help with cyber-bullying from my Mom’s blog, The AntiBullyMom:

 


Until It Gets Better–7 Ways

Whenever you are dealing with something, particularly depression or bullying, people are constantly told “It gets better!” but when? Unfortunately, it does take a while: 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years.

Yes, it gets better but the problems still remain for right now.  No one is really told how to help the problems when they are going on, or ways to cope with being upset. So, here are 7 things that you should remember  and that can help you UNTIL it gets better.

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  1. Block out as much negativity as you can-  Surround yourself with positive people. People who are always negative can make you think more negative thoughts and influence bad decisions. Remember, misery loves company. Avoid things and places that you know will make you upset. A method to help negative thoughts and actions- Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and snap it every time you get a negative thought or urge, or find yourself being extremely negative.
  2. Don’t bottle up feelings-   Keeping feelings bottled inside isn’t healthy and can cause break downs. A lot of people hold it inside, but the feelings need to be expressed or talked about. Talking about it truly does make you feel better, and it can make things clearer to get it out of your mind. Talk to a friend, a teacher, a parent, or even a therapist. Express your feelings using music, go the gym and hit a punching bag,write a song,  or just scream into your pillow. A method to get your feelings out without talking to someone-   If you’re uncomfortable talking to people, write a letter and put every little thing bothering you into it. Call that girl in your math class that bad word, tell off your boyfriend/girlfriend, all on the paper. Once you write it down, fold it up and tear it up, burn it, whatever. You get your feelings out and say everything you want to say, without causing hurt to anyone else, or talking out loud.
  3. Take care of yourself-  Most of the time, if you look bad, you’ll feel bad. Trust me I know comfortable sweats are, but once in a while change it up. Sleep for the amount of time needed for your body, brush your teeth, brush your hair, don’t have holes in your socks.  If you look good, chances are you’ll feel good. You’ll feel at least a little bit more confident. You don’t have to go all out to look good- a simple switch of a button up instead of tee shirt will work. Just try a different hair style, wear the new dress in your closet, show off your new sneakers, take pride in how you look. Despite what you think, you’re beautiful.
  4. Get out of the house-  It’s tempting when you feel badly to isolate yourself from the outside world and stay inside, but in the end it will end up making you feel worse.  Take a walk around your neighborhood and get some sun, go shopping at the mall, go out to eat. Don’t sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. If you spend your whole life in the dark, how can you expect to see the light?
  5. Don’t push away- Your friends may not understand what you’re going through, but if they’re offering support, take it. Being alone all the time can cause overthinking and makes you feel worse. Feeling alone is the worst feeling. Try to talk to your friends and don’t push them away because at a certain point, they aren’t going to try anymore. Don’t take friends for granted. Invite your friends over if you don’t feel like going out, at least have someone to hang out with. Try to get out with them when you can. Go out to lunch with them, or have a movie night. It can be surprising how just one night can change your mood.
  6. Find a passion- Find something to temporarily distract your problems. Join a sports team, join chorus, take an art class, learn an instrument,take photos, find something that takes you to another place. Joining a new club or joining a team can help you make new friends with common interests. Try new things and see what you do and don’t like. When you find your passion, go with it.
  7. Learn to love yourself- You should be your biggest supporter, not your biggest enemy. It’s easier said than done, but it is possible to love yourself. People will come and go out of your life, but you are always with yourself. If you can learn to love yourself, life may be a bit easier.Look in the mirror every single morning before you go off to work or school. Find one thing about yourself that you like, and admire it. Find a different thing every day. It could be the freckles on your nose, your nail beds, the way your eyes squint when you smile… Stand in front of the mirror and learn to love your body and your mind. Learn to love your imperfections, not hate them, because they’re what makes you, you.

And most of all, remember, it DOES get better.


5 Seconds of Summer Shows EVERYONE is perfect!

I literally ran home today from the bus stop because I couldn’t WAIT to see the  new video for 5 Seconds of Summers She Looks So Perfect.

My Mom (she likes the song too) came over and watched it, and our jaws dropped.  We looked at each other, speechless, and watched it again.

WOW.  We loved it.

ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE jumping and dancing around!  Young, old, middle aged, black white, fat, skinny,man, woman,  all kinds of people dancing and having a fantastic time.  It wasn’t just skinny perfect models, but all kinds of people!  No one was letting anything stop them them, they were just happy to be dancing!  All shapes and sizes and  it.was.perfect.

“ She looks so perfect standing there

in my American Apparel underwear

and I know now, that I’m so down

Your lipstick stain is a work of art

I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart

and I know now, that I’m so down “

I’m taking it as they are saying every one of them looked perfect- ALL of them!

I’ve been a fan for a REALLY long time, but I totally love them now.  They’re not judging,  they are just accepting everyone. What I took from it was everyone looks perfect to the person who loves them.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE this message they are sharing!

What do you think?


How To Deal With Peer Pressure

Come on, just take it! No one will find out.”

“Aw, the little baby is scared to get caught!”

“Please, just do this for me?”

“You’re such a loser if you don’t drink it…”

I personally don’t like to go out to parties and do “activities” some of my friends enjoy, so I don’t do them. I like to read, go on the internet and cuddle with my cat. But, I’ve heard all of these things said to other people and myself at parties, sleepovers and other events. Being a teenager, I’m put into situations often. Most of the time, the pressure is put onto me by my peers.  Peer pressure is more than just doing drugs and alcohol, however.  It could be pressure to go to a place you don’t want to go to, playing a game you don’t want to play, cutting class, wearing certain things, and acting a certain way towards a person.

Peer pressure is a hard thing to deal with. You’ve probably been through a situation where you’ve been pressured to do something you didn’t feel was right, most people have. The ways I’ve seen people being pressured is making the other person feel guilty, making fun of the person, and trying to force them.

Unfortunately, peer pressure doesn’t go away completely once you grow up, so you should try to learn how to deal with it now.

  • First, listen to your gut. If your gut instinct is to avoid the thing, place, or person, don’t go near them.
  • Saying no is okay. In the end, it’s your life, not theirs, and they shouldn’t try to control you.
  • Stand up for yourself. Make your morals and intentions known.
  • Get out of the situation. If all else fails and your “friends” are still bothering you, leave. It’s alright to make up excuses to get yourself out of a situation that makes you extremely uncomfortable or scared.

I found that the hardest part of dealing with peer pressure is that most of the time the ones pressuring you are your “friends.” If these people are truly worth having in your life, they will respect your decisions and think about your comfort.

Don’t cave in to the pressure. Trust me, I know it’s hard. It’s natural to crave acceptance, and everyone does. But in my opinion, I’d rather be a “loser” who stays at home and sits on the internet until 3 am than be a “popular” or “cool” person who is constantly feeling guilty, uncomfortable and scared. It takes a lot to put your foot down and say no But youneed to do it if you know something isn’t the right choice for you. If your friends are still try to pressure you, just look past the judgmental glares and words and say “SCREW YOU.”

 It is your life and you should decide how to live it, not have other people pressure you into doing what they want.

I get how sometimes you want to cave into just doing what the others want because it’s easier. I’ve experienced it myself and I’ve seen my friends do it as well. I learned to think for myself and make my own decisions and it’s been hard. But at the end of the day, you just have to get the stupid, irrelevant people out of your life. No one’s got time for that.

Now I’m not saying to stay all conservative and never to take risks, because sometimes taking a risk can be the best decision you can make. But there has to be limits and boundaries and you need to find and expand them yourself, not have other people do it for you.

You do you.

It’s your life, live it. Be strong for yourself, and the other people in the same situation as you.

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