Rules are Rules

Canadian 11th grader  Lindsey Stocker was in trouble. She wore shorts to school, and was told they were not appropriate. She was  asked to go home and change, or face suspension. She refused, and printed up posters instead. Her posters read:

Don’t humiliate her because she’s wearing shorts. It’s hot outside. Instead of shaming girls for their bodies, teach boys that girls are not sexual objects.

She right, guys need to know that girls bodies are NOT sexual objects, and they need to be able to control themselves.  It’s not, or shouldn’t be a girls job to dress so that a man will be able to ‘control themselves” upon seeing them. Men should have control of themselves, in all ways, period. As should woman.

But this isn’t about “shaming women.”  It’s about a high-school Junior who violated her school’s dress code simply because she didn’t want to follow the rules. The schools dress code, according to the Beaconsfield High School website says:

Students must dress appropriately for school. Ripped or torn clothing, short shorts or skirts, T-shirts with unacceptable language or promoting violence, drugs or sexual innuendo, halter tops/tube tops/bikini tops, visible underwear, low riding pants, excessive cleavage, outdoor clothing and attire exposing the midriff are all forbidden in school.

She was asked to change to comply with the rule, and she blatantly defied the administrators.  The rule never said she couldn’t wear shorts, but that she couldn’t wear “short-shorts”. I don’t see anywhere there that it states that these rules apply simply to women.  These rules apply to men, as well.   We have dress code rules at my school that are pretty much the same as her schools, except we have no tank top rule, and the shorts rule.  The shorts rule is that your shorts must at least be as long as your fingertips on your legs with your arms hanging down by your sides, for both girls and boys. I personally don’t find this sexist, or shaming, or anything other than a rule to be followed.


The outfits my friends and I are wearing for a party are perfectly appropriate – for a party. However, they wouldn’t be ok for school. Our schools rules are no shorts that violate the ‘shorts” rule, no tanks and no spaghetti straps. I’m fine with that.  I’m not being humiliated or harassed.  I’m just observing the rules.

High School is the training ground for adult life.  A real life with responsibilities that won’t won’t always consider your tender feelings when rules are made. Many jobs have dress codes, and even uniforms and if you don’t  comply, you lose your job.  Let’s face it, High School is also a place where you stretch your wings, and try to find your place.  Being asked to follow rules is not grounding you, its providing you with the guidelines for a successful flight.

It’s not shaming, or bullying, or harassment if you are asked and expected to follow rules. In this case, the school is asking all students to dress with respect and  in a manner in which the school would like to portray itself.  High school is not just a place where you learn how to be yourself, it’s a place where you learn to fit in society and like it or not, society has rules. Being asked to follow rules isn’t harassment. It’s life.


2 Responses to Rules are Rules

  1. I read this post first via HuffPost, and I am impressed. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was reading a post written by a teenager. Excellent work. Preach.

  2. Susan says:

    I admire you for such a well articulated argument!! I could not agree more with your stance and it is disturbing how often people are becoming “famous” for creating issues that should not even exist in the first place! You were raised right ! Keep up the great work!!

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