All my life, I’ve tried to be a person anyone can come and talk to. I have multiple people tell me their problems every week, and I try to help them as much as I can. Unfortunately, I don’t always have all the answers.
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend, and they told me some troubling things. It started with them saying they were leaving, saying goodbye. I wasn’t sure what it meant at first. They kept telling me that they hated everyone and they wanted to be gone. That they were miserable and didn’t know how to deal with life anymore. I thought my friend was trying to kill themselves. I panicked as soon as I thought about what they were saying. My stomach flipped upside down, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I started crying.
Soon, they started to not make sense. They told me they didn’t know where they were. The person told me they were home alone.
I didn’t know what to do. I spoke to my Mom, and and told her that we needed to get help. We decided to call 911 and send the police to their house. I was so upset and anxious. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt so frustrated and helpless. I thought, if the police didn’t get there in time and they were dead, it would be my fault. What if I were the last person to talk to them? What if they took pills or cut themselves, what if they were bleeding on the floor and died because no one knew how they were feeling, and what was going on? I felt so much guilt in the 30 minutes it took the police to get to their house. They called me back to tell me they were okay. I was so relieved.
Unfortunately, the person I tried to help wasn’t very happy, and neither were their parents. They were angry I sent the police to their house.
I want to say, I’m sorry for not thinking to call the parents first, but please try to remember. I’m a teenage girl. All I knew was my friend was in trouble and I had to help them.
I’m sorry again, but I’d rather have you alive and hating me then dead.
I don’t think people understand how serious bullying, suicide and self harm are. It’s becoming a epidemic. I’ve noticed it’s almost becoming a trend to cut yourself, or try to kill yourself. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about. People are beginning to think that this is an appropriate way to deal with feelings, and its not. Suicide is never an answer. EVER.
If you’re reading this and you feel sad and are considering killing yourself, please listen.
Killing yourself doesn’t make problems go away.
It makes it worse for the people around you. You may think you’re not worth life, and that no one would care if you were to die but that’s not true. You’re worth life, you deserve to be happy.
Let me tell you what would probably happen if you actually killed yourself: Your parents will be heartbroken. No matter what you think, they do love you and they do care. They will blame it on themselves. What about your brother or sister or grandma or cousin or aunt? They’ll probably think it’s their fault because of a stupid remark they made or a bad conversation. They will wonder how they didn’t know you were at this point. That guy who sat behind you in science class who kicked your chair will probably think it was his fault, and becomes depressed. That girl who shared a locker with you will think its her fault because she didn’t smile at you in the morning. Your best friend will sink into depression. They’ll think about how its their fault because they didn’t go to the mall with you, or they teased you about your hair. They’ll might end up self harming, and maybe even killing themselves too.
What about the person who finds you.
They’ll think you’re joking, tell you to get up, but you wont. You never will again. You’re gone. Their left to pick up the pieces. Your closed door will be a constant reminder to anyone in your house, your favorite song on the radio, your favorite flavor of ice cream, will remind them of the pain brought upon them, because you killed yourself. You may think your problems are gone, but there not. They’re only getting worse for the people around you.
Don’t say you don’t care because you do. Don’t shut people out. Don’t push them away. Ask for help.
If you’re on of the people who tell others to kill themselves, or bully them into making them think it’s the only way out-
Re read what I wrote. You’re hurting inside too. Get help. Taking out your anger, frustration and sadness on someone else doesn’t help. A simple comment push them over the edge.
Watch your words.
I love you all. If you ever feel like self harming or killing yourself, get help. Get your mom or dad, your best friend, your school guidance councilor, SOMEONE. You deserve to be happy, and you will be happy one day.
Don’t give up.